I have to admit, I haven't been writing very much at all lately.

back when I was under the stress of coping with the harassment from my ex-friends I wrote quite a bit, but shared little of it since it was very rough and meant only as a way to vent my emotions. since I got out of the hospital October 10 of 2007 I've written next to nothing, I still get ideas, but how they go from my head to print is completely messed up.

after looking up stuff I've think I've figured out why. what I was hospitalized from was one of the more virulent strains of e. coli, which caused septic shock (also called toxic shock or sepsis). some strains of the more deadly types of e. coli can affect the brain, sometimes causing brain damage. while I've found my IQ to still be where it was before (147) I've noticed several ways my brain seems to be working differently. I've come to the conclusion that it did affect my brain, not impairing my intelligence, but rather affecting how the internal thought processes get expressed externally. writing is one thing affected, another is that I'm stuttering a bit now and then, and sometimes words get switched about when I'm conversing with others (well, more than before). it's more than just the normal brain farts caused by my fibromyalgia, altho it was easy to contribute it to that at first.

now, I have to learn to accept these changes in how my brain works. I have to learn to adapt to them, and I have to learn to write again. I'm going to try to work out a series of writing exercises to do if not daily then at least several times a week.

to this, I ask for some ideas of themes and ideas for pieces of poetry or prose drabble to use in those exercises. if you want you can let others know I'm looking for suggestions. also, if you have any helpful ideas to potentially make learning to write again easier that would be of great help as well.


on a brighter note, my doctor okayed me getting a wheelchair to use at work or to go out and do stuff on bad days. hopefully this will make having a social life outside of work easier and allow me more freedom to stay longer and do more at any conventions I go to. I ordered one off the internet for $109 (my insurance tried to make me rent to own one for a total of $1,200, paying $120 a month for 10 months with them only covering the first 3 months) and it should be arriving within a week; well before JAFAX.