well, things have bee going hard. I lost my job October of last year (corporate forced the location I worked at to cull out half a dozen or so people even after they got rid of the people not pulling their weight and outsourced a whole section to a different company). then in January my mom suddenly passed away unexpectedly. her health had been slowly improving after she had heart surgery not quite two years before that, but she seemed to be coming down with a flu and took a nap and when I went to wake her up I found she wasn't breathing. the whole incident was bad enough I was too depressed to do much reading (I literally couldn't finish a novel until the latest Dresden Files novel came out, and I can read 5 or more books per week normally). I'm still pretty depressed from the whole thing, but I'm learning to cope with it a little better.

I started some new writing projects since I have all this spare time (and job hunting isn't going well, there's no many jobs open where I live, especially for someone with physical disabilities). I've even started poking about with fanfiction again, at least when I'm having writer's block on my main projects. it's mostly Blue Exorcist related stuff, since I've kind of fixated on the series. it's fun to read and I'm loving the anime (even if it is going off on it's own storyline at the end, it's better than some of the other original endings I've seen manga to anime adaptions get).

anywho, on Tuesday I become a year older. I'm actually not looking forward to it. it seems odd that I'll not have my mom around, it feels wrong. thinking about it makes me kind of want to cry...

but it's late now, and I'm getting rambly so rather than go on and get depressive on here I'll just leave it at this....